The Struggle is Real…

Oh. my. goodness. you guys. This liquid diet is too hard. My liquid diet officially began on July 8th……. NOT. I cheated on my first official day by having macaroni and cheese at night. I felt so guilty and scared myself that my liver wouldn’t shrink enough and it would cause complications, so the next day (the 9th) I didn’t cheat at all. Today is the 10th, so my second day of not cheating and I am so hungry. Yesterday it was easier because I visited my grandma and then Alex and I saw ‘Deliver Us From Evil’ in theaters so I was kept busy all day/night. But today I woke up starving and extremely low on energy. All day I’ve been torturing myself and watching food network dreaming about all the foods I can’t have. Alex told me to stop but I don’t want to because I say it makes me feel better. Not sure if that’s true, or if I’m just so hungry I want to stare at food all day. *sigh*

The sheet I was given about what I can eat during the liquid diet phase is very limited. I am allowed some Crystal Light, diet Snapple, and diet sugar free drinks, but honestly I don’t really like sweet drinks. I think I said this in the last post, but I tried (and hated) plain Swanson’s soup broth. The ONLY things from the list I really like is cottage cheese, Slim Fast 321 (rich chocolate and cappuccino delight), sugar free jello, and sugar free Popsicle’s. Those four things are my life. I really should be drinking more water though. I have not taken the water thing seriously enough, and I have to. So I will. Starting…. tomorrow 😉 

Both days so far (and it doesn’t seem like this will change until after surgery):

Breakfast- 2 jellos

Lunch- 2 jellos

Snack- 1 Popsicle and 1 Slim Fast shake

Dinner- 1.5 cup cottage cheese and 2 jello’s 

Snack- 1 Popsicle and 1 Slim Fast shake

It sucks. I would literally eat things I don’t even normally like (like tomatoes, coconut, ANYTHING) just to feel better. I feel so awful. I have literally zero energy. My sugar levels are ok, but I still feel shaky and miserable. I am trying SUPER hard to not be grouchy with the people around me… it’s not their fault after all! Alex has been incredible. He mixes different flavors of jello that he used to like so I can have variety. He literally caters to me because I feel so sick and lazy. I refuse to force Autumn to be stuck inside all day so even though I have no energy, I still take her out for walks, to the park, or swimming. Swimming actually feels really good because it takes my mind off food, but when I get out of the pool I feel even more hungry. Pray for me, people!

For anyone out there who is considering the surgery and reading this: DONT LET THIS DISCOURAGE YOU!!!! The pain of being really hungry is NOTHING compared to the pain of missing out on things due to being unhealthy. I keep telling myself “only x amount of days until the surgery!”, and it keeps me motivated. 

Thanks for listening to my rant, and keeping my mind off food for 10 minutes!!

Dimand Girl

“Strength doesn’t come from what you can do, it comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.”- Rikki Rogers

“I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy, I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.”- Art Williams

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